A World Tour Of Football Fans
Our holiday was, in many ways, a tour of different countries allegiances and reactions to the wonderful sport of football (or ‘soccer’). It has struck me as worthy of blogging about. So I did. And have.
In Australia, being a fan of football means the following:
1) TVs hidden in dark corners of pubs, with the sound low and the bar-person switching the channel at crucial moments, thinking no one is watching
2) Early morning crusades to the casino to watch live matches. Heavy men in sagging tracksuits, pumping coins into poker machines, occasionally glancing at you when you scream because he thinks you’ve won something and is wondering how best to kill us so he can get on our machine. Nachos from the canteen and free coffee. Ladies with frizzy hair and sunken eyes, with torn clothing and papery skin hanging off their arms as the pull lever after lever. Exhaustion the next day
3) Awkward conversations with people who can only say ‘David Beckham!!’ Polite explanations that there is more to football than Beckham
4) Having to admit that the best thing we have locally is the A-League. Note that it would be better if it were called the ‘A-Team,’ and Mr. T was the ref
5) Unflinchingly following all Australian footballers who have managed to secure professional contracts in Europe
In Vietnam, being a fan of football means the following:
1) The world will stop for your national team. Every shop will have a TV, everybody will be watching, and everybody will stop breathing, stop talking, stop blinking when the ball enters the goal circle
2) Hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of scooters waving Vietnamese flags, honking, yelling, drums, celebration, ecstasy, when the national team wins a game
3) Proudly displaying Liverpool shirts
4) Even in the quietest villages, in the poorest streets, being able to find something that can be used as a soccer ball
5) A family gathering to watch games with pride and sober admiration, where silence hangs over the two hours
In Britain, being a football fan means:
1) Drinking beer
2) Swearing and abusing poor decisions, to the point where giving the other team the finger will result in a cop keeping their eye on you
3) Watching games in places where the barmaid has to be tougher than the clientele, and she isn’t afraid to take them on
4) A powerful atmosphere when your team wins. A tragic atmosphere when your team loses. A communal feeling that lifts you when your team scores. A weighted feeling that sinks you when your team concedes
5) Hesitating before announcing your allegiance to any one team, but then knowing that having a bit to say about football means you’ll never struggle to have a conversation with someone new
Tomorrow we’re going to see Tottenham vs Arsenal with some die-hard Tottenham fans. We prefer Arsenal. It’s gonna be fun!!